For no reason at all, I just
decide say today na for exams. Maybe na because I dey write some kind of exam
now…
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I look my friend and the e look
me too with one kind funny look for him face. Then I shout ‘Hey, staple it! I say staple
it!’
My friend scatter laugh. My
sister just dey look us. I sure say she dey wonder which leaf we done smoke.
That na the shout wey one old
lecturer, we been get for university, shout one day o. The man go done reach
like 106 years old at that time. Now e fit dey anywhere around 150 yrs old! E
dey wear like two eye glasses. One thick pass coke bottle, and e be like say na
the one e dey take read. The other one look like goggles wey e dey use practice
welding when nobody dey around. E dey like say na Gaddhafi dash am that one. Anyway,
na exam hall we dey, dey write one of those wicked exams wey the guy dey set. Lecturers
wey dey invigilate just full everywhere dey do their thing. Every few minutes,
dem go catch somebody wey hold dubs and dem go collect him paper. That na sharp
carry over. Abeg no dey inside.
 |
| Exam no easy! |
Na as the old lecturer see the
thing, e begin shout make dem staple the dubs to the answer booklet. Imagine
the animalae! E manage use dubs successfully for that military zone finish and
leave am inside him answer booklet go submit am. Devil no fit punish you pass
like that. I hear say the guy fail the course again even when e write am the
next year. Somebody also talk say for the guy to pass, some village people been
come see the old man…
Because of wetin happen for
that exam, anytime something bad happen for exam for my class, we go just look
each other and one person go shout ‘Staple it!’
So, I look my sister wey dey just
dey go write her exam. Na exam wahala wey she yarn us about dey make us remember
wetin been happen to her. Then, I tell her say ‘Abeg, no tell me if you dey
carry ‘bullets’ inside pant or bra or tights dey enter hall. But if you dey
carry, and you use am, make you know say if you submit am, dem go staple am!’
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Anybody wey attend higher institution
for Naija know how first year for university dey be. Plenty people from
different departments go dey take some kind general courses like Maths and English
and when e reach to take exams, na inside some big halls dem dey write. In our
case, the whole freshers for the Education Faculty dey write maths and no hall
dey big enough to take everybody. The lecturer decide to use Convocation Arena.
From experience, the man know say a lot of the students go go look for
engineering and science students wey go take the maths exams for them. So,
wetin him do, na to go carry 400 and 500-level engineering and science students
to come invigilate. No ask me wetin I go do for the hall o, because me sef na
engineering student and I been never reach 400 or 500-level….
 |
| Person dey sweat bullets! |
‘Jennifer Briggs!’ Jennifer no
gree answer.
‘Hey you, Jennifer Briggs!’ Jennifer begin
waka fast fast.
‘Stop there! I stay stop now!
Jennifer!’ Jennifer take off.
The invigilator begin pursue
am, dey point am dey shout. ‘Hold that boy! Get hold of him! He says his name
is Jennifer! Hold him!’
Na so dem begin pursue the man Jennifer
o. I no sure if dem eventually catch am sha. But na that time wey most of the
invigilator dem no dey really pay attention to other people, na him I quietly
get up, go drop my answer booklet where dem dey keep the ones wey people submit.
Then I sneak out of the Arena o. I manage comot without wahala.
Chei, Thank God o. I no fit
shout. Because, that day, my name na Augusta.
This na @nfsqueezed on
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