Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Gbenga Osowe: E Go Done For Belle

by Jonas Dogara
Tunde na one of my personal padi when I been dey for university, and I like the guy wella wella. If anybody sick, na Tunde go carry the matter for head; if you no dey class, na Tunde go do photocopy of him note for you and the guy writing fine no be small. E be like say na computer dey type one kind wicked font for him note.

But as people wey get sense dey talk, nobody dey perfect. E get something dey wey spoil Tunde - him no sabi cook! And instead of him to try improve, na so so excuse e go dey nack you. If Tunde cook any food for you, even if na ordinary white rice, comma must dey inside. E no go gree listen to you sef, if you wan talk. Anything wey you complain about, the guy get something to take answer you. If na salt too much and you complain, my guy go tell you say make you use mouth wey no get salt chop am or make you comot the salt for your mind and chop the food. Tell Tunde say salt no reach and e go tell you say make you lick salt and chop the food. The one wey the guy dey do wey dey pain me pass na if him cook food wey no done. When you complain, the answer wey this crase boy go give you na ‘chop am like that, e go done for belle’!
Courtesy: myhealthandwellnesscoach.com

You fit dey wonder sey wetin konsign you about Tunde, wey make I dey yarn plenty. The thing be say, na the same problem wey Tunde get na him Nigeria get. The way wey Tunde dey take reason say e go done for belle na im oyinbo people dey call ‘mediocrity’. Instead wey we go do as things go better, we dey belleful with the attitude of ‘chop (or manage) am like that; e go better after’. 

Na that yeye behaviour dey make us no dey start preparation on time (for sports competition), and when competition wan start, we go begin spend money like say we dey pluck am for tree. See the Olympics wey just finish some weeks ago na. We been dey think say e go done for belle, but by the time e happen, dem clear our doubt! Even wooden medal sef, we no fit take come back (if not for the Paralympians wey comot shame for our eyes). But nothing go change o! Nobody go answer question for how we manage spend plenty money for nothing... and when time reach for next Olympics we go start another ‘e go done for belle’ preparation.

Na dis same mediocrity make ‘small sickness’ catch our President wife sick and dem carry her go obodo oyinbo, sake of say our own hospital for here no ‘done’ reach to treat Her Excellency. Make we no forget how long late President Yar’adua stay for hospital abroad before e die o, and plenty other Naija people wey we sabi wey no dey near our hospitals. For those of us wey pocket no reach to go outside Naija, no wahala, we go manage am like that.

I no wan talk about our schools whether na primary, secondary or even the higher institutions. Na there this ‘e go done for belle’ behaviour ‘done’ pass. Teacher for primary school no go teach pikin wetin e suppose know, e go say e go know am later. The pikin go reach secondary school and the teacher for there go say e suppose don sabi the thing. Na so the pikin go carry ‘undone’ knowledge go university. When e comot for there, companies go talk say ‘Nigerian graduates are not well baked’! Baked ko, fried ni! Like say no be all of us get the fault.

Abeg my people, this na time to begin rearrange the way we dey think. Anything wey we wan do, make we dey do am well, sake of say if e no done, na all of us go suffer am.

Make I go check the food wey I put for fire before e go ‘over-done’ because I no fit say make e ‘undone’ for belle later.

My name na Osowe Oluwagbenga
@gbengaosowe for Twitter

53 comments:

  1. E go done for belle; until dem go give sombodi stone chop because e go done for belle naim we dey so!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. E go done, e go done, na im make person chop food come get running stomach. God go dey help us

      Delete
  2. See this people o! U nor know say belle get ogbonge stove wey dey carry heat work like say na open fire? Shior, instead of you guys to dey commend Jonathan and Sanusi, u dey take style wire am! Be careful o! Make I nor put u for belle...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have mercy, boss! I no been know say you get that kind belle-tic stove o! If you say make we commend Oga Presido and CBN Governor, we go find extra Titles Nigeriana for dem o. Anything you say, oga!

      Delete
    2. Uncle Olumide. No vex for your little boy abeg. I just say make I talk am as e do me for body. Thank you sir

      Delete
  3. We thank God say Jonas don get colleague wey dey write for pidgin. I like the article o. Na very very nice concept. Make bro Jonathan give me Oil well sef, make the thing go done for my pwn belle too

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No be only oil well you go get. We go give you oyel field!

      Delete
    2. Sagay, which of the oil, Palm Oil, SoyaBean Oil, Cottonseed Oil, etc. Na for this modern age u still wan dey use well abi. Change ur request to Oil TAp, Oil Pump and we would answer you. U hear? Oga Jonas, no be so?

      Delete
    3. Gbenga you too make sense. Oya Sagay, choose!

      Delete
  4. Hahahahahah. Laff wan kee me die. This your story come make me remember one of my friend for university wey go drink stream water wey no clean. When i remind am say the water no clean, the guy carry alum lick come say the allow go go mix with the water for him belle then make am clean. All done don for belle be that na.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na so e dey be at times. Hope say the guy still dey alive. Him belle go done become Alum factory now ba?

      Delete
  5. I'm a notorious pidgin gaffe artist, so I'll just say: Una well done o!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you be oyinbo boy alias the walking dictionary so we understand.

      Delete
  6. Korrekt one no be small! See as @gbengaosowe wind us from tunde to our magana. We go eat food wey no doen until our belle burst one day.Na then we go realise say belle-bacteria dey sleep sometimes. @abusidiqu which kain friend be that? Lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I dey pray make e no reach the belle bacteria level sha

      Delete
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