Friday, June 15, 2012

No Need Na

by Jonas Dogara
‘Never give up’, ‘It’s never over until it’s over’, ‘You are only a failure when you accept failure’, etc. You done hear these things before abi? These na standard talk for anybody wey say him be motivational speaker or anybody wey dey try ginger people to achieve things. Sometimes e be like say the whole world dey try to teach us how to get ‘strong head’ and dey stubborn and not to dey gree. All these talk dey sound correct for ear when dem dey talk am sha. The wahala be say nobody dey actually remember to tell us say sometimes e get the kind situation dem wey we no go fit do anything about o. E get situation dem wey we suppose just accept because nothing else we fit do about dem. And if we see am early say we no go fit do anything to change the situation, maybe we fit manage ‘make the most’ of wetin we get at that time.
Last week, I been go see one of my guys for Town. The guy dey stay for an area wey we dey call Colombia. From the name alone, I dey sure say you done already know how the area be. Some kind strong men dey the area and na dem dey make sure say that name wey we dey call the area no be mistake! Na the headquarters for selling any kind thing wey dey make eye dutty for Port Harcourt be that o. Nothing wey human being dey drink, smoke, sniff or inject wey dem no dey sell there. Also, if you dey find ‘other things’ to take ‘help yourself’, dem dey there too.
As I done dey near my guy place na him I begin hear a lot of people dey shout ‘Owor o! Owor o!’ If you know the area wey I dey talk about, then you go know say that na the code wey guys dey use when police or any of them cousin dem decide to show for the area. Immediately people hear this code, dem go just begin vanish like willy willy! 

As I see people dey take off sharp sharp like this, I begin hear ‘Stop there! Stop there! If you move, I move you!’ Na that time I see wetin dey pursue people so. Some men with gun dey like say dem done catch one or two young guys and dey chase other ones. After like one minute, e be like say na one backyard dem come dey focus. When people see say na just a group of people wey the men with gun dey pursue dem come stop dey look. I dey hear plenty people just dey shout up and down dey point something for that backyard. E no tey na him I see some of the men wey carry gun dey drag one boy wey slim like Snoop Dogg dey come out. As dem dey drag am, one of dem dey sound him head like say e want the guy eyes to fall out. I just waka dey go my way.

I reach my guy house and I come dey tell am wetin I just see. So e call one of him brothers and ask am wetin just happen. The guy say some young bobo dem been dey that backyard dey ‘solar’ themselves (dem dey smoke ‘igbo’) and dey play gamble. Suddenly, dem hear ‘Owor o! Owor o!’ na him everybody begin vamoose! Na NDLEA done come to raid the area. Na just two people fit escape before the NDLEA corner them for the place. Guys just dey throway their dope inside gutter quick quick so that NDLEA no go catch dem with the thing for their hand. 

The interesting part na one particular guy wey been see things differently o. As the guy see say dem done corner am and no way for am to escape, na him e begin smoke the igbo fast fast. Him guys dey shout ‘Drop am! Drop am! Na exhibit, drop am!’ 

The bros just dey shift dey go back dey smoke the thing with power. NDLEA dey shout ‘You still dey smoke am? This criminal, you still dey smoke the ‘igbo’?’

The guy just dey dodge dem dey shout with that voice (you know that voice wey dem dey use when dem dey smoke that thing wey dey sound like say dem lick ice-block wey come from mortuary) say ‘No need na! (puff puff) No need! (puff puff) Dem done catch me already na! (puff puff) No need! (puff puff).’ 

Na so the guy take blow him ‘igbo’ finish before dem finally catch am. Na that slim guy wey I been see dem dey sound that time. 

The whole thing just make me laugh sha. But somewhere deep inside me I understand this guy. If you go receive punishment for something, no matter wetin you do, you know say nothing you fit do to prevent that punishment from coming, at least make you do that thing well! No need to dey tell yourself ‘Don’t give up’ because you know say whether your give up or give down, e no go affect wetin go happen. Recognize the situation, tell yourself 'No need na', then smoke your ‘igbo’ or do whatever thing wey done land you for soup!

When koboko go dey smooch him back for NDLEA office, the guy fit dey smile....

This na @nfsqueezed on Twitter


  1. my people talk say if you must chop frog make sure say you chop the biggest one wey your eye see.

  2. LOL... we can bear with anything so far we know why. if dem wire im back with koboko, im don enjoy the sin just dat, pleasure before pain no be sweet thing!