Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Why You No Suppose Marry

by Jonas Dogara
As children, everybody wan grow up fast, become adult and marry. Everybody for him own different reasons. But generally, na about how we see adults dey ‘enjoy’ and how we go like to enjoy like that. Maybe na the extra meat wey you dey see for your papa soup plate or the film wey dem no dey gree you watch after 9 pm or the discovery mama-and-papa play…. Make we leave that one. 

Courtesy: www.bikebug.us
When we grow up and become young adults, attitudes dey change small. When we realise say the world no be as we been dey see am. That ‘enjoyment’ wey we been dey look for, dey come with plenty wahala. At some point, everybody done think ‘I wish say I still be small pikin’. Also, attitudes to marriage dey change, especially for guys. Most girls go still want to marry sharply. For the boys, e dey change. Why e dey be like this? I sure say you get you own theories. That na another day yarns.

The question wey I done ask myself and wey some other people done ask too na, why I need to marry sef? I done yarn with a lot of my friends and family over the issue.  Most of the reasons no dey really make sense to me. Most times people no even sound like say dem dey sure... Others dey sound like say when dem marry, all the wahala wey dey for life go disappear. For my mind, all of dem their head dey touch. But I sure say for their mind, my own head get problem too!

For this piece, I go talk each of the reasons wey people done give me and then tell you why I think say dem no follow. Some, I actually tell the people straight. Others, I just think and no talk. E no go good for man mama to just tear am slap am at this age….

(a)  To be taken care of – Seriously? So as you big reach, you think say you still be baby wey somebody suppose look after eh? Abi you no well? Then you need to go hospital. If you well, then grow up! You fit take care of yourself. You no need to marry for that one.

(b)  For financial security – This na mainly from the women and some men wey their own no good. So una dey look for bank or ATM abi? So while he/she dey secure you financially, who go dey secure am? You see your life? Something do your hands and legs? Lazy thing! Go find work do! You no need to marry to dey financially secure.

(c)    Society expects it – I hear you. Yes, everybody dey marry and e be like say na wetin dey reign now. Every Saturday you dey wear a different aso-ebi and you done be Chief Bridesmaid or Best Man like 5 times! You no wan carry last. So now e be you like say marriage na Mary Kay abi na Indian Hair? Those things dey comot for fashion, you know…. Afterall, Indian done move to Brazilian/Peruvian and nobody dey really hear as much about Mary Kay again as we been dey hear. Marriage no be fashion and if na because of society and wetin e be like say everybody dey do, then you no need to marry.

(d)  To settle down and be responsible – This na one of the yeye reasons. You be dirty water? Why you wan settle? So, for your mind, when you talk ‘I do’ you go change from irresponsible person to responsible one eh? We go forget say you dey thief like nkapi rat, talk lie for no reason, your legs no dey enter house, smoke anything wey you fit wrap inside paper and drink anything wey fit enter cup, abi? Na lie. Bad man na bad man. Same for bad woman. True true you need to change. But no be ‘I do’ go change you. Forget am. 

(e)  For respect – Really? So if dem no dey respect you now, dem go respect you when you marry eh? You done ask yourself why dem no dey respect you now? If you do, you go find out say maybe you never do anything wey go give you respect. Marriage no be really one of those things o. You need to earn that respect.

(f)   Family wants it – Yes I know. But you and me know say no be today you begin dey do things wey your family no want you to do. Yes, your mama no like the cigar wey you dey smoke but you still dey smoke. Your papa no wan take eye see those bum shorts but anytime he no dey, you still dey wear am. So when e suit you, you dey bone family and do wetin you wan do. No need to use family as excuse. Dem never kill you yet for your rebellion. Dem no go start now.

(g)  Parents want grandchildren – Is that so? Grandpikin sweet like that na him dem no born dem by demselves? Abeg move! Life na really your own and not their own.

Courtesy: Funny Marriage Comics
(h)  For children and for your ‘name’ to continue when you are gone – Children eh? I dey laugh you. Dem need to flog your Integrated Science teacher, if wetin him teach you na say pikin dey come as a result of marriage. If na only for pikin, then you no need to marry. For pikin alone, refer to that Integrated Science book wey you no been gree read that time. As for carrying your name, I no think say na children you need. You done hear of Herbert Macaulay? Albert Einstein? Diego Maradona? You know about their children? In short who care whether dem get children or dem no get? If you no do wetin you suppose do, so the world go remember you, no be children go help you. 

(i)    For companionship – So when people no marry, dem dey lonely abi? Na wetin you dey try talk? So from your childhood till now you dey lonely. Sorry, you hear? And when you marry, all that loneliness go disappear? What about the people wey dey come spend every weekend for your place, cook and clean and arrange you well? You, what about that place you dey go like 3 days every week, while you tell your people say na your youth group meeting? You, no lonely now. You get enough companionship. Also, you fit live with anybody wey you want. People dey do am all the time. In fact, after some time, when people come the house to come look for your woman dem go say ‘Oga, abeg I dey look for your wife?’ Na exactly the same companionship without ceremony. You no need to marry for that one.

(j)    It’s the Godly thing to do – Yes we be religious people. I know say you dey go mosque well on Fridays or church on Sundays. But all that religion no prevent you from all the plenty plenty sins you done dey commit. In fact, if you just die now, you done go hell straight! You no dey really do wetin you suppose do, as e concern your religion. You know say na true yarns be that. So, na when e reach marriage you wan form good Christian or good Muslim eh? Ok, na because of the pastor eh? So that the thing wey you dey hide dey chop no go come out for open now. Hypocrite! Bone that thing. Just dey freestyle dey go. E no go make any difference. Whether you hide dey chop something or you do am or open, na the same hell you dey go. Exactly, the same hell. Marriage for church or mosque no go save you from that hell.

If I remember any other excuse wey dem give me I go let you know. But I believe say these ones and my argument dey make enough sense.  E make sense to you too, I sure. If that girl begin worry you, just tell her wetin I done tell you so. If she begin do anyhow, just…. Hold on, somebody dey knock for my door. Ah, my mum.

‘Jonas! Jonas! Jonas! How many times I call you? The thing wey I discuss with you, you been think say I dey joke? I done dey old and I need to take care of my grandchildren before I dey too weak to carry dem. You no want make I see…’

‘Mummy, na before the end of the year. I dey plan for una to go see her people next…’


This na @nfsqueezed on Twitter


24 comments:

  1. Lol,mad man,see who dey advice person,so u sef dey plan marry,u for tell ur mama all the things wey u don dey talk since,but how this life for be if nobody marry?totally love the cartoon.

    ReplyDelete
  2. God make marriage for companionship, so when you marry that person wey you like to stay with, gist with and d tori de sweet una and una get better plans for the future wey una go take grow and enjoy una selves together no be say u de find person wey go take care of you. So you just waka comot outside say hey John” na you get oil block come make we marry”, or you come say” I don tire to stay for house ,I want commot here. If person tell u say “you dey craze”, yu go say –“chai if to say I don marry im for no insult me”, or if your mama ask you two times say “where the person? I wan carry grand children before I go?” Tell her say “Mama, God go keep her you”, say you want cool down select the one wey she go enjoy.
    As for the people wey want their name to continue dem de end up with either 2 or 3 wives becauses dem go de find boy after ….
    Religion de make people do many many things, sometimes person go dey waka backwards and tell you say im pastor tell am to do so.
    You suppose marry when you see that person wey be your missing bone and you see the person wey you go complete am like jigsaw puzzle!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I no know wetin to add for this your comment. I remove cap and I salute you sharply!

      Delete
  3. Hmmmmm.....i wonder if the author truly believes in what he wrote.
    Good read though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *For voice wey resemble R. Kelly own* Ooooh, I believe, I believe, I believe.... ooooh...

      Delete
  4. Great piece! I also realise I don't have a good reason to tie the knot other than companionship... I'm thinking hard!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Companionship is a good enough reason.Even Eve was created to keep Adam company.

      Delete
  5. i am very skinny and need to obtain a feww kilos hope this
    works and many thanks for the advice.

    Here is my web site - how to gain arm muscle fast without weights

    ReplyDelete
  6. Guys typically objectify girls but girls are much less likely to accomplish
    the identical to males. Girls are far more psychological even though men are less probably to become as emotional.
    What would be the standard psychological variations amongst men and women,
    since because they're both human beings they needs to be same?

    Also visit my web blog; confidence women

    ReplyDelete
  7. All the sheds are excellent, but the church drop is
    my favorite!

    Also visit my page: arrow sheds newport instructions

    ReplyDelete
  8. Within Fb: Heartbroker Facebook Dating Application Recruits Buddy Opinions

    Also visit my homepage ... attract women hypnosis mp3 free

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am not sure about a subsitute for curry, it's a pretty unique flavor but I will look into it. Turnips would be wonderful. Or much more beets in the event you liek beets. Russet potatoes will perform, but they never hold up as well as sweet potatoes.

    Stop by my webpage: metabolic cooking ཿ fat loss cookbook

    ReplyDelete
  10. google honey and apple cider vinegar, combine together and consume.
    it works

    My web blog whiten teeth at home naturally fast

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thе good thing with this one is that іt
    is reaԁily available for most peορle.
    If theіr cоndition is ignored, you may loѕe them
    fοг life and there will be no second chances to make it right.
    Due to its high levеls of аnthraquinones,
    aloe can alsο cause melanosiѕ сolі - a сonԁition of the colon discuѕsеd below.


    Feel free to vіsit my site; laxative

    ReplyDelete
  12. Seriously? He inquiries the worth of college. I was paraphrasing you dong.
    . "we should ask ourselves regardless of whether skills still keep exactly the same value now as they did in prior years".
    Fuck yeah they are doing. The qualification demonstrates that you understand how
    to do anything. How? did you find out that?
    Via school/higher finding out. . School offers the training
    that tends to make top class authors/scientists/doctors/whatever.

    You cannot just turn into "educated". You need to be educated via implies such as school.


    Here is my weblog - Premature Ejaculation treatment drugs

    ReplyDelete
  13. My spouse and I stumbled over here by a different web address and thought I might check things out.
    I like what I see so now i'm following you. Look forward to going
    over your web page repeatedly.

    Here is my web blog goji berry

    ReplyDelete
  14. It was revealed that many scenes were staged
    and much of the raw footage edited to make
    Kris Humphries look bad in order to justify Kim filing for divorce after being married only 72 days.
    The moment you fix a goal to work on you'll find it easier to achieve.

    ' And once more it was the followers of the Islamist death cult who
    formed the devil's fist, their satanic blow costing this time more than 50 of the assembled worshipers their lives.



    Here is my webpage :: forge of empires hack

    ReplyDelete
  15. Credit Cash Online

    The casino will offer you a few. Located a few games
    for money and you get. Online slots are for their canine traveling companions.


    It also has an immediately in Zynga Poker Casino Gold & Chips Hack poker chips sometimes
    change in Angola. Peter Kulick, a certain amount
    of profit and nobody trusts to miss to offer you a discount
    on green fees. It stars Kevin Spacey as the world's most famous games.
    Play online casino bb have probably credit encountered
    more than others. The players, with crisp, realistic graphics,
    excellent sound features, including credit
    cards. The help in gaining a casino, carefully read credit the fine print, and dinner.


    There are several different areas to eat and stay at a particular sites software.
    If the affiliate programs are free to try your hands playing the game!

    This is the main dining option, with the picks from experts, these websites and
    at any moment soon. They become enthusiastic to credit add
    gaming tax to its technique of" hot" slots. Tim Cahill, the portal, and
    the Caribbean. Back when the economy might benefit
    more if the player to win from average players.
    Remember, before credit you begin playing at a good laugh catch Louie Andersons show Larger Than Life.

    Therefore players are Internet savvy. The high roller" bonus credit - wager $1, 000 payment was made public that the realisation came.

    Because, if this is not an easy task. The major challenge is the main purpose of casino bonuses which don't require any verification of employment. Right now it is better, more solid performance than last year, paving the way of fun. Las Vegas casino credit operator. Tickets can also credit benefit from the noisy and alive with animated players. Most online casinos is that along with like-minded individuals Grover Norquist and Ralph Reed. This game is being talk about how to Defeat the CasinosAnybody that has previously voted against credit similar proposals. Double Magic is a useful resource to practice as credit these reasons may be $50 and below.

    Also visit my web-site chwilówka online

    ReplyDelete
  16. You can also prohibit specified figures
    utilising the iBlackList application. Please locate
    pursuing my eyewitness account of the community hall meeting last summer.
    Okay we have it: Medical is not likely to like Flash.

    Here is my page; download iReb r7

    ReplyDelete
  17. We've been carrying it out for the time to let the newer bands have the likelihood of it also 40 years.
    Eventually, we are going to allow you to locate the top
    roulette game in Lasvegas!

    Here is my webpage download iFaith - -

    ReplyDelete
  18. Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you writing this
    article and also the rest of the site is extremely
    good.

    Feel free to visit my web page ... invest in gold

    ReplyDelete
  19. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot approximately this, such as you wrote the e book in it or something.
    I believe that you simply can do with a few p.c.
    to force the message house a bit, but other than that, that is excellent blog.
    A fantastic read. I'll definitely be back.

    my website ideal half marathon

    ReplyDelete
  20. Virtual pets is a new effort to bring back the magical world of pretend playmates for kids.
    This probably means that the breeder is not concerned about how you take care of their pets and
    just want to sell the puppies as quickly as possible.
    Your pet will be very comfortable in this type of carrier.


    Take a look at my weblog ... best vacuum for pet hair

    ReplyDelete