One For The Price Of Three

‘Oya tell me.’ One of the girls for my back whisper.

‘My colours go be green and gold for the main trad. For the engagement I never know yet. I done already see the dress I wan wear go the court for that bridal mag wey you give me. For the church, I done tell John make we order our things from London.’ The other girl answer her.

I turn look dem with strong face. Na church we dey and pastor dey pray, na him these girls siddon for my back dey yarn rust!

‘Thank God say Him be God and not Egbemudede. Thunder for done fire una now!’ I no talk am o. I just think am. But e be like say dem hear am, because dem no talk again.

Actually, my vex no be just because dem dey disturb. Na the gist wey dem dey gist dey vex me. I no know John o, but I done dey pity am already. John done enter ‘one chance’! The sad thing be say, no be only John get that problem. Na our society problem. 

See how many ceremonies the girl dey count. Person wey no know go think say na three different women dem wan marry! No be say I get wahala with plenty ceremony o. Wahala no dey, provided na for television I dey watch am! Gimme Prince William and Kate Middleton any day on BBC World and I no go yarn at all! 

Seriously sha, for a man to ‘fully’ marry a woman for Naija now, e mean say e done marry her like three times! Dem go do traditional, court and church/mosque and dem go invite a million people. For a couple wey no get money full everywhere, to marry now na WAEC. And if dem do only two out of the three, once in a while, dem go dey get questions like ‘When is the white wedding?’

When I hear those kind questions, I dey reply ‘Una dey craze! Na black wedding dem been do before?’ As usual, I no dey talk am out. I dey just think am. 

Friends and family dey also feel the heat, because of aso-ebi and ‘Committee of Friends’. Some go miss the wedding instead of dem not to wear the correct ‘colours’ go the wedding. And dem no dey be normal colours like yellow or blue o. Dem dey always sound like something wey person fit lick. Wetin be lilac and mauve? No be sweets be that?

For we society where people like to show off and prove say dem pass their neighbour, things done pass be careful. E dey put young people and families under pressure to spend money wey dem no suppose spend. Some dey spend everything dem get. Others dey even borrow. For what? To marry the same person three times and invite the whole world? 

E done reach time wey we suppose begin use some common sense for this issue. Nothing stop us from finding correct ways to merge our ceremonies and remove things wey we no need. We need to know say to marry one person plenty times and blow cash no dey guarantee successful marriage. Also, the wedding ceremony no be investment and e no dey bring ‘profit’. Na new life just dey start. And for this new life, couples go still need to chop, pay bills and take care of many other responsibilities.

Somebody just ask me now ‘Do you really think we can change?’

I answer am ‘I do.’

This na @nfsqueezed on Twitter