Friday, July 6, 2012

One For The Price Of Three

by Jonas Dogara
‘Oya tell me.’ One of the girls for my back whisper.

‘My colours go be green and gold for the main trad. For the engagement I never know yet. I done already see the dress I wan wear go the court for that bridal mag wey you give me. For the church, I done tell John make we order our things from London.’ The other girl answer her.

I turn look dem with strong face. Na church we dey and pastor dey pray, na him these girls siddon for my back dey yarn rust!
‘Thank God say Him be God and not Egbemudede. Thunder for done fire una now!’ I no talk am o. I just think am. But e be like say dem hear am, because dem no talk again.

Actually, my vex no be just because dem dey disturb. Na the gist wey dem dey gist dey vex me. I no know John o, but I done dey pity am already. John done enter ‘one chance’! The sad thing be say, no be only John get that problem. Na our society problem. 

See how many ceremonies the girl dey count. Person wey no know go think say na three different women dem wan marry! No be say I get wahala with plenty ceremony o. Wahala no dey, provided na for television I dey watch am! Gimme Prince William and Kate Middleton any day on BBC World and I no go yarn at all! 

Seriously sha, for a man to ‘fully’ marry a woman for Naija now, e mean say e done marry her like three times! Dem go do traditional, court and church/mosque and dem go invite a million people. For a couple wey no get money full everywhere, to marry now na WAEC. And if dem do only two out of the three, once in a while, dem go dey get questions like ‘When is the white wedding?’

When I hear those kind questions, I dey reply ‘Una dey craze! Na black wedding dem been do before?’ As usual, I no dey talk am out. I dey just think am. 

Friends and family dey also feel the heat, because of aso-ebi and ‘Committee of Friends’. Some go miss the wedding instead of dem not to wear the correct ‘colours’ go the wedding. And dem no dey be normal colours like yellow or blue o. Dem dey always sound like something wey person fit lick. Wetin be lilac and mauve? No be sweets be that?

For we society where people like to show off and prove say dem pass their neighbour, things done pass be careful. E dey put young people and families under pressure to spend money wey dem no suppose spend. Some dey spend everything dem get. Others dey even borrow. For what? To marry the same person three times and invite the whole world? 

E done reach time wey we suppose begin use some common sense for this issue. Nothing stop us from finding correct ways to merge our ceremonies and remove things wey we no need. We need to know say to marry one person plenty times and blow cash no dey guarantee successful marriage. Also, the wedding ceremony no be investment and e no dey bring ‘profit’. Na new life just dey start. And for this new life, couples go still need to chop, pay bills and take care of many other responsibilities.

Somebody just ask me now ‘Do you really think we can change?’

I answer am ‘I do.’

This na @nfsqueezed on Twitter


  1. Brilliant piece. I dey feel u. Me sef do 2 weddings. Trad & white. But as I dey look back, I get to agree with u say no need for all d people we invite. We for do am quietly. Take d money, start life.

    1. Na exactly wetin I dey talk be that. Even if the money so plenty and person no know wetin to carry am do at the time, just keep am. Something go come up.... Thank you for stopping by and reading.

  2. Bros ee e be like say u dey in spirit. This yarn na the same yarn wey wan cause wahala for me and my former babe (now wife sha). How man wan take blow money three times to marry one person!!! Sometimes na the women dey cause the yawa. For them mind provided say Amina do am for her turn den Funke must also do am. Dem 4get say Amina husband na money mis road.
    We nned to change ooo. This na why today more and more ladies dey enter 100years and dem neva get boyfriend not to talk of husband

  3. This na d true yan wey we ladies need 2 learn 4rm imagine make we waste moni on 3 occasion cald wedding wen evn d om wey u won st@ 2 build u neva gt moni 4 am una dey waste moni 4 d thing wey go finish one day

  4. This thing wey I read now do remind me of wetin dey vex me. I bin know say I dey vex, but I bin no come remember wetin dey vex me. Know I remember.
    I dey plan to do marriage very soon. But every time I sidon with my babe make we plan the marriage small, I go remember say dem (society) dey expect me to do the same marriage three times (and no be for free, I go pay each time).
    If you think am well, the traditional wedding go cover for all three no matter the angle you look am from.
    Make I explain, after the traditional marriage, the village head or whoever dey charge go give you marriage paper wey you go fit present to the customary court for marriage certificate. With that one, the law of the land know you as person we don marry. Carry your wife go meet Pastor for church, tell say una don marry with the consent of your Papa and Mama and the wife Papa and Mama, make him pray and bless the marriage. With the blessing of the church, God know you as person wey don marry and matter finish.
    I don dey vex again, na only traditional marriage I go do.


    1. Like the president of our country, I believe say this na of those situations wey need some committees. We go get three committees. First one na the Committee For Telling anuel's Babe The Koko. Second one na Committee For Mitigation of the Fallout of Telling anuel's Babe The Koko. And The Third one na the Committee For Reviewing The Works of The Previous Committees. You like that solution?