The Spirit Of Irresponsibility

Anybody wey dem born for or wey grow up for our country Naija know one or two things about spirits. When I small, spirits na those things wey dey appear with white cloth not very far from you when NEPA take light and the whole place suddenly dey dark. For people wey grow up for those parts of town where you go need to go piss for backyard, na big wahala be that o. Piss go catch you reach the level wey you go dey do break dance, but you no go still wan go backyard go piss because of spirits. Nobody want spirit to carry am go!

As I dey grow up, the whole idea of spirits come dey change. I no dey fear those NEPA spirit things again. In fact, e get the time wey man dey pray make dem take the light sef so that… You understand, abi? My idea of spirits done mature with time and now e done reach the point where I know say for Naija, everything get spirit. Na dem dey run things. You go understand wetin I dey yarn about now now.

Some days ago, I siddon for lounge for airport dey wait for flight and somehow the gist wey some people wey siddon near me dey gist come interest me. I leave wetin I dey read, begin listen to dem yarns. From the gist, I understand say the woman among dem na senator, one of the men na pastor and the other one na top federal civil servant. Dem just dey return from pilgrimage to Jerusalem.

The pastor say ‘Nigeria cannot get it right, provided our foundation is not in righteousness’, and the senator and civil servant agree, with plenty spiritual grammar. You go know say dem dey go church well well. I turn look dem and the question wey enter my head na ‘Una done hear about a country wey dem dey call China? What about Malaysia and India? Na ‘righteousness’ dey move dem go front?’

I decide not to put mouth for their tori. Afterall, dem no been dey talk to me. The next thing the pastor talk be say ‘Jonathan cannot succeed until we remove the Spirit of Corruption from public office’.

Ah, spirit! After dem blame the way our country bend on ‘foundation wey no righteous’, dem done move the blame to spirits. I smile and shake my head.

Brothers and sisters, the spirit dey alive!

Plenty questions enter my head and na manage I manage not to begin fire these people with questions. I wan ask the senator how much dem dey pay her every year and whether e dey okay to be one of the politicians wey dem pay pass for the world, for a country wey get some of the poorest people for the world and which spirit possess her when she dey collect that money. Spirit of Greed? I wan ask her who pay for she and her friends Pilgrimage and which spirit possess the person. Spirit of Mumu? I wan ask the pastor, wey talk say him happy say pastors for Nigeria done dey speak out against our corrupt politicians, which spirit done possess am? Spirit of Lying?

Seriously, this whole spirit thing dey turn my belle. The way I see am be say, we done take our religion and twist am into the way e sweet us. Instead of us to take responsibility for our actions, we dey find am easy to just shift the blame. If we no fit put the blame for another person head then we go put am for spirit head. Afterall, spirit no go come defend himself.

I done read for newspaper about a man wey rape a 7-year old girl. When e go court, the first thing e talk na ‘My Lord, please temper justice with mercy. It was the work of the devil.’

If I be the judge, I go tell am say ‘No problems, my friend. We will impose the maximum sentence for rape on the devil and not you. Until he shows up though, you will have his place.’

Another man, wey him wife catch with another woman, no even bother blame anybody or spirit sef. E say ‘I’m so sorry, honey, I don’t know what came over me.’ Really?

I believe say the time done reach for us to begin take responsibility for the things wey we dey do, the things wey we suppose to do and we no do, and the things wey dey happen for our country. Time done reach to leave the spiritual and face our physical. I no believe say na the Spirit of Gluttony go make our president wan chop N1bn food for one year o. I also no believe say na the Spirit of News go make am wan read N45m worth of newspapers and almost N9m worth of magazines for one year. What about the N265m for computers wey dem been buy last year too? E no fit be Spirit of Repititive Computer Purchase!

So, when you leave your motor for road wey dey slope well well and you no put the hand brake on and the car roll back go kill small pikin for road, no be the Spirit of Death or wicked people from your village cause am. Na just gravity and your own carelessness. If you begin insist day you go bring spirits into the matter, then I hope say the Spirit of Truth and Justice go possess the police and them go carry you go court where the Spirit of Toothache go make the judge to provoke and e go sentence you to enough jail time, so that you fit experience the Spirit of Overcrowding, Spirit of Heat, Spirit of Strong Body Odour and  some other spirits wey I no go fit talk about here!

As we dey enjoy this time of the year when the Spirit of Jollification go possess most of us, make we enjoy with common sense and dey remember say we go dey responsible for all the things wey we do. Make we also come back from our jollification with a commitment to begin hold ourselves responsible for our actions or lack of action, and also hold other people responsible for their actions or lack of action.

Merry Christmas.

This na @nfsqueezed on Twitter